Admitting
by StarTraveler
Summary: After KItsunegari Mulder and Scully admit their feelings. My first ever Xfiles fic please R
1. Scully

Disclaimer: The X-Files and characters belong to Chris Carter.

AN: This begins during Kitsuneguri, the episode where Pusher returns and the scene where his sister tried to turn Mulder and Scully against each other. But it also mentions The Post-Modern Prometheus and Christmas Carol.

I walk out the door as Skinner calls Mulder back to speak with him, yesterday all our years together were nearly lost because of Linda Bowman, the sister of Patrick Modell aka Pusher. She hates Mulder for shooting him but Modell gave Mulder no other choice, just as I had no choice but to shoot her.

I can still remember the fury in his eyes as he looked at me, no doubt seeing me as Linda Bowman. I could see his grief as he thought I was dead. It hurts me to the core. I walk outside the building and sit on a bench and begin to think back.

>>>>>>>>

I never thought Fox Mulder would become so important to me; I was assigned to him to debunk his work, to provide a rational scientific perspective. But as we worked together over the years, I've been tested in more ways than I can imagine. There are times I have to wonder if Mulder is right about aliens.

I remember a moment in his apartment hallway where he almost kissed me, a bee stung me bringing an end to that moment and sending us on another adventure. My life has been fast paced since meeting Fox Mulder and I can't imagine my life without him.

I've always known that and I've tried to keep it to myself, I've tried to keep my feet planted on the ground but these last few weeks have showed me I can't avoid facing it any longer.

I remember going to that small town and meeting the creature known to the residents as Mutato, I remember as we were bringing him back to Washington how we stopped off at a club where Cher was performing. How Mulder and I danced. How in his arms I feel so complete.

He was there when Emily, the daughter I had never known anything about had died. I had found and quickly lost a child. He had been with me, once again being my stable anchor. And finally Pusher returned and he had figured out where Linda Bowman would be and convinced me to follow him to that warehouse.

And there we stood our weapons pointed at each other and somehow I got through to him and this time I was the one to put a bullet in the head of our subject. I did it to save Mulder. And as the others arrived to take Bowman away and to get our statements, Mulder and I just stood there looking at each other, emotionally drained and for awhile unable to speak.

"Scully." He whispered.

I had embraced him, "It'll be okay Mulder."

>>>>>>>>>>

I came back to the present to see him coming toward him, I know I have to tell him how I feel, I've always relied on my strength and I know I need to face this. But as he comes into view he looks lost. There have been times where I know he wants to throw his hands up and say he can't do it anymore.

Is that how he feels now? I don't want to be without him in my life. "Mulder…"

"Scully I really need to tell you something."

Those words make my heart leap into my throat.


	2. Mulder

AN: Mulder's P.O.V.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  
As I say the words I have something to tell you, I see her eyes go wide. Those blue eyes that have captivated me for so long. "You want to leave the F.B.I.?" She says quietly.

"That's the last thing I want to do, but this is something you need to know." I take a deep breath, yesterday I nearly lost her due to Linda Bowman, and I'm about to tell her I'm in love with her. I could lose her today forever and that is like an arrow through my heart but I have to tell her.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

I never thought Dana Scully would come to mean so much to me, when the higher ups told me I was getting a partner I was furious, I knew they were doing this to irk me, get in my way of seeking the truth. I had one day before I was to meet her and I read every piece of information on her. The more I read the more intrigued I became.

Then she walked into my office the next day and I fell in love with her on first sight, her blue eyes, her red hair, the way she carried herself. On our first case I told her about my sister. I know she doesn't believe in extraterrestrial existence but she doesn't look down on me for it either.

The years have gone by and I trust Dana Scully with my life, she's the one stable force in my ever changing world, learning my father was involved in unsavory projects, fighting with my mother and nearly losing her, coming close to finding out about what happened to Samantha, and having the resolution ripped away from me.

When I feel like quitting she's there with her stable support, Deep throat once told me to trust no one but I trust her without question. I remember Donnie Pfastner a man with a fetish for women who once abducted her, it was hours before we found her and all that time, I thought of horrible scenarios and never seeing her again. I remember holding her in my arms as she sobbed. I remember Duane Barry and how he too took her away.

Every moment we've spent together, every case comes back to me.

>>>>>>>>>>  
"Mulder?" Her sweet voice brings me back.

I take a deep breath; "Scully yesterday helped me realize I can't deny the truth any longer, "I'm deeply in love with you and I have been for a long time."

"Mulder." Her voice is still soft.

I feel panic; "Let me finish, if you don't feel the same way and want to be reassigned I'll…" I break off as she puts a finger on my lips. Then the finger is taken off and my senses spin as her lips take its place.

All too soon it ends, "I feel the same way about you Fox Mulder, I've loved you for a long time as well."

My heart soars as I embrace her and she returns it. Neither one of us knows what will be next but one thing I am sure of, we'll face it together just like always.


End file.
